


a letter to a person who will never read it.

by kimjaehwan



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 13:56:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14380074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimjaehwan/pseuds/kimjaehwan
Summary: a cringy rant letter to one special jaehwan.





	a letter to a person who will never read it.

Dear Jaehwan,

I don’t know why I like you. I just do.

I want the best for you, because I‘ve seen you work hard and because I know you’re a good person at heart. You deserve the success.

I do a lot of stupid things. I make a lot of mistakes and everything I touch crumbles. But one thing I did right was to support someone like you.

“At least I did one thing right.”

I remember spending a whole night just watching and re-watching your God’s Voice episode and videos of you passionately singing in the cold. I’ve seen you reach the highest notes and the lowest melodies. I’ve watched every single video on Earth of you singing “Skyfall,” and that’s a lot because you’re oddly obsessed with that song.

Ha, you and your guitar make “Skyfall” feel like heaven— a heaven with floating goats and adorable dumplings.

I’m at a low point right now. I had to trade my Wannable duties aside for my real life, and I had to wear the shoes I did not want to fill. Once I had to press pause on you, I had to put down my phone to realize the actual mess I was in. God, why is my world so upside down? What do I have to do to get a utopia?

Maybe I’m not good enough for a utopia.

Ever since you disappeared, it’s just been pile after pile, rule after rule, disappointment after disappointment. I’m still waiting for that happy ending, the life I won’t regret.

There’s a lot of regrets.

Today I picked up my phone again and clicked on a video of you on King of Masked Singer. By the way, you sucked at hiding your identity underneath that mask. Just the way you stood gave it away. I burst out laughing when you ruined your opponent’s “magic” trick.

Thank you for making me laugh.

Maybe I’m running away from my problems, or maybe I just need a little break. Whatever it is, watching you again has let me get away from my disappointments. I don’t know what I would have done without you.

Probably combust.

May is going to be hell. May and June are exam months. 27th May 1996. I don’t know if I could celebrate it. I want to, as it is the day an angel was born. But I don’t know.

I don’t want to disappoint anyone anymore.

So here’s a letter. One month early, when my problems are temporarily ignored and I can run away. Thank you for being alive, I’m sorry I can’t be the best fan, I love you.

I hope I didn’t disappoint at least you.

I want you to know I’m grateful for your hard work. I see that your dance skills are crazy good now, and you’re now a full-blown blinding star. It’s nice to see your relentless tries at being a singer pay off. I want you to know you’re doing good. There are a lot of mean people in this world. They criticize everything and have judgmental hearts. They need some love and more positivity in their life. I want you to know you’re amazing. I want you to know that your singing has touched me and many, many others. I want you to know that I love you just the way you are.

Happy early birthday, our adorable talented goofball dumpling. Cheers to your success and successes to come.

-  
-  
-

Love,  
An eternal Okkay.

**Author's Note:**

> life is full of lemons, but hey jaehwan can eat lemons pretty dang well.
> 
> my works will be on hiatus (well, obviously). i'm sorry to everyone who has been waiting for an update and i hope everyone realizes that they are special human beans. try not to let life eat you. besides, humans probably don't taste good.
> 
> you may not believe me but y'all are special and beautiful and deserved to be loved. don't stress yourself out and always please take care of yourselves.


End file.
